Performance + Time-Based Media
Private/Public functions as a confessional autobiographical performance that deals with the politics of love. It serves as record of love that documents experiences of love. Love as an addiction. Love as an unhealthy obsession. Love as a reminder of human nature. Love that manifests desire, control, lust and switches forms through the change of time from past, present to future.
What kind of love am I speaking of? That kind of love where two human beings collide and disappear into the same time and same space, together. That kind of love that makes you weak in the knees and sick to your stomach. That kind of love that consumes your mind and causes confusion and yearning and aching. That kind of love that causes desire and fuels destructive decisions. That kind of love where no one can relate to the way you feel, except that other human being sharing that exact moment with you.
It is this amorous love that leads to my compulsive need to journal my experiences. These pages reveal the patterns of behavior that have shaped and shifted who I have become. The bound paper and pen become a salubrious action. Physically touching pen to paper is therapy through documentation. It becomes my way of contextualizing that which has affected me.
This piece collides the private and public space to create a common place where both exist as one. The audience is asked to come and sit around me as I then assume the squating position. Asking the audience to sit before me, breaks down the wall between audience and performer. This invitation also forces the audience into the piece—and in this case into the privacy of another person.
The audience is not at full disclosure of the content. They do not know whether the journals belong to me, or if the stories are real. As I read the entries, a film is projected behind me. It begins with a black screen accompanied by sound only. The background sound is the repeated noise from hospital machines recorded by me. After about 8 minutes, a video plays of me eating an apple and spitting the chewed pieces out into my hand. The video shifts to reverse as the pieces return to make the apple whole again.